baby its cold outside.

Christmas was lovely! I got the most gorgeous camera ever, and a lot more..such as clothes, jewelery, the gossip girl season 2 boxset, makesup, bags, shoes, money, music etc. Im a very lucky girl. I spent the day with Kelli. We went to the cinema with warren. We saw Avatar..it was soo good, i cried :p heres some pictures of some of the lovely things i recieved..

fasination

i have a weird love of blood, smoke and fire. people think im a freak...although that may be true. there is just something about them that is so artistic.

For years, I hated myself. i covered the mirrors in my house. I literally couldnt have a mirror in my room. I still cant sit in a restraunt or someplace where I can catch my reflection. I get so paranoid.

I'd rather you hate me for everything i am, than ever love me for something im not.

i wish someone can see past my exterior smile and belive the truth behind the lie "im fine". i need comfort. I need someone. And im affraid i have already pushed him away.

I need a foot massage and a hug.

music exam this morning. didnt go to bad. after it i had a gingerbread latte in starbucks. heaven! then had a look round henry street. bumped into luke, skipping school naughty boy. i enjoyed it. i can home and had some carrot soup. im having a nice day so far. although it would be nicer is i got my kasabian ticket. i was so frustrated, i was planning to go but the tickets were all sold out.

my feet are so sore. my boots are pretty but you cant walk for hours in them. at one point luke carried me. love him. love you x

the crazy cat lady

things might look good on the outside, but inside it aint so perfect.

im good, but there is something inside me, that i cant put my finger on. something hideous. something that is hurting me.

heres some pretty pictures to distract myself. to put a false smile on my face.